Kink can be healing when it’s intentional—helping you reclaim control, rewrite old stories, and build trust. But if it feels compulsive, blurs boundaries, or leaves you feeling worse, it may be reenacting trauma. With curiosity, consent, and care, kink can support both pleasure and growth.

Relationships can be challenging, and at times, we fall into patterns that harm our connection. Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—are behaviors that can erode intimacy and trust. Recognizing these and replacing them with healthier habits can make a huge difference.

• Criticism shifts to constructive feedback.

• Contempt becomes appreciation.

• Defensiveness transforms into accountability.

• Stonewalling softens with self-soothing.

These shifts take time but are key to creating a resilient, connected relationship. If any of these patterns sound familiar, therapy can offer support to break the cycle and build healthier communication.

Explore the exciting world of consensual non-monogamy! Learn about polyamory, open relationships, and swinging. Discover tips for navigating CNM with honesty, consent, and a sex-positive attitude.