When TV Turns Curiosity Into Biphobia: A “90 Day: Hunt for Love” Moment Worth Pausing On
When Reality TV Normalizes Biphobia
On the latest episode of 90 Day: Hunt for Love, cast members were asked whether they’d be “okay” if a partner had previously had sex with someone of the same gender. It made for buzzy TV—but it also quietly modeled how biphobia gets normalized in dating.
The subtext of the question is clear: same-gender history is a red flag. That framing doesn’t simply “start a conversation”; it conditions viewers to treat bisexuality—or really, any non-monosexual past—as something suspicious.
This isn’t just theory. Research shows bisexual people face unique stigma, not only from straight communities but also within gay and lesbian spaces. Dating studies consistently find people less willing to date someone who is bi—especially bi men. Those patterns mirror familiar stereotypes: “secretly gay,” “can’t be faithful,” “never satisfied.” These aren’t “preferences.” They’re prejudice disguised as practicality.
And media matters. Reality TV has the power to either interrupt bias or reinforce it. GLAAD’s Accelerating Acceptance report shows that inclusive, accurate portrayals of LGBTQ+ people actually increase comfort among non-LGBTQ viewers. But with anti-LGBTQ rhetoric rising, these moments on screen carry more weight than ever.
Take Tiffany’s response in the episode:
“I have no problem with it, but for me... if I know they’re into both men and women, it’s just a no. I need someone who’s all about women, all about me.”
It’s a perfect snapshot of how biphobia shows up in everyday dating.
How Biphobia Sneaks into Dating
Identity gets reduced to a “comfort test.”
A meaningful part of someone’s identity is recast as a red flag to tolerate or reject, rather than a lived story to understand.Stereotypes get coded as “preferences.”
Saying “it’s just a no” to someone who is into more than one gender isn’t about compatibility—it’s about discomfort with nonmonosexuality.
A Better Way to Frame the Real Question
The issue isn’t whether a partner has ever had same-gender sex. The real questions are:
What does commitment look like for us?
How do we define honesty and trust?
How do we approach sexual health—STI testing, monogamy agreements, attraction—without shame or accusation?
Prompts That Move Couples Forward
What are our agreements about monogamy or consensual non-monogamy, and how will we revisit them?
How do we talk about attraction in a way that builds connection instead of fear?
What STI testing cadence feels right for both of us—and how can we make it a routine act of care, not suspicion?
